Category: Joke Board
TEE-SHIRTS......................................................................
"Whatever".
"Slightly Used, but in good condition"
"Old Fart..........formerly known as Stud Muffin"
"I didn't say it was your fault. I said I'm going to blame you!"
"Please......let me DROP everything and work on YOUR problem!"
"I have multiple personalities, and NONE of them LIKE you!"
"I tried being good. But, I got bored!"
"National Sarcasm Society.................like we need YOUR support!"
"I may be left-handed. But, I'm always right!"
"I'm not stubborn. My way is JUST better!"
"It's lonely being right ALL the time!"
"If I'm talking, you SHOULD be taking notes!"
"I used to care. But, I take a pill for that now!"
"I started with NOTHING. And, I still have MOST of it left!"
"Danger! Mouth operates faster than brain!"
"I am not PERFECT. But, parts of me are INCREDIBLE!"
"I live at the corner of KISS MY ASS AVENUE and NO FRIGGING WAY!"
"WARNING..................I have gas, And, I know how to use it!'
"SARCASM.................Just one more service I provide!"
"The older I get, the less a LIFETIME guarantee is worth to me!"
"I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request!" (No thanks?) "I'm confused. Wait.............maybe I'm not!"
"My attitude is contagious. But....they're looking for a cure!"
"I'm so miserable WITHOUT you, it's like having you HERE!"
"I only want to live long enough to be a PROBLEM to my kids!"
"Lord, keep your arm around my SHOULDER, and your hand over my MOUTH!"
"Growing OLD is mandatory. Growing UP is optional!"
"Remember, as far as anyone knows we are a normal family!"
"I am fairly certain that given a CAPE and a nice TIARA I could save the world!"
"Changing the toilet paper roll does NOT cause brain damage!"
"I love you today MORE than yesterday. Yesterday you really PISSED me off!"
"Every time I say the word DIET I wash my mouth out with CHOCOLATE!"
"I feel a SIN coming on!"
"I don't DO mornings!"
"Oh my God, my MOTHER was right about EVERYTHING!"
"Keep a CLEAN kitchen. DINE OUT!"
"Many people have eaten my cooking and gone to lead normal lives!"
"I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food!"
"Save the earth. It's the only planet with BEER!"
"Real men USE duct tape!"
"Life is a journey............NOT a destination!"
"Today was a total waste of MAKE-UP!"
"Sometimes I pee when I laugh!"
"Always alert! This T-shirt may contain a nut!"
"Discover wildlife! Teach school!"
"Home of the FREE, because of the BRAVE!"
OFFICE T-SHIRTS..........................................................................................
"We're all quite mad here. You'll fit right in!"
"You don't have to be crazy to work here. We'll TRAIN you!"
"A cluttered desk is a SIGN of genius!"
"Good morning. Let the STRESS begin!"
DOORMATS..............................................................................
"May this house always be too small to hold all our family and friends!"
"Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. Look who's here!"
lololol i wanna get those t shirts.
roflmao becky. just roflmao. love your jokes as ever. haha. and i want those office t-shirts, even though i'm not working, lmao
I want the doormatt that says "butter my butt and call me a biscuit, look who's here."
lollol Becky, as always you rule. I want some of those t-shirts too!
Cheers,
Simon
ok the ones I want
"I have multiple personalities, and NONE of them LIKE you!"
"Danger! Mouth operates faster than brain!"
"I live at the corner of KISS MY ASS AVENUE and NO FRIGGING WAY!"
"Always alert! This T-shirt may contain a nut!"
I'd love the shirt that says, "i live on the corner of Kiss my Ass avenue and No Frickin' Way." And, I know for whom the shirt that says, "I don't do mornings," would come in handy. lol
I also loved the one that says, "Good morning, let the stress begin."
I love those first two you mentioned too.